He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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