____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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