I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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