It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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