And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
