Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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