You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
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