Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
