i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize