I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize