Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize