I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
