I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
so much tequila, so little girl.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
