Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
