is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
