sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
