Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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