She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
