I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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