i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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