Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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