I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
