Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
