if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize