she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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