I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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