he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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