but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
