thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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