dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
