i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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