I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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