I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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