were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
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