i jhust puked up my retainher.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
This toilet bowl is my home.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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