It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She needs sedatives and a leash
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
