K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
