don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
