Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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