Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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