Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
