Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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