I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
