You're completely useless in the revolution.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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