Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
