You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
