I think i sorta joined a cult last night
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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