pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
