he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
