Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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