At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
