OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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