you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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