So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
