I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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