I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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