He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
