How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
