Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
