I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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