apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
