I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
