Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Where is the hickey?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
